What about LOVE? pt.2

October 8, 2009

This post is a continuation of my last post because I have a bit more to say on the subject...

"What is it all for?"

When I reflect upon all that I have in this life, I am in awe...it's insane how much God has given me.

I am extravagantly blessed.

My most sacred blessings:

I have God in my life to direct me and help me.

I have a hard-working, kind, devoted, dependable

husband who loves his family. Plus, he's cute.

I have four beautiful, healthy, super smart kids that never cease to amaze me. Ever.

We have a cozy, little roof over our heads.

There are six of us and admittedly, it's tight. All four of the children are practically adult size now so it's actually like six adults living in this house!! My poor seventeen-year-old son (man) shares a room with his eleven-year-old brother and sleeps on a little bunk-bed...he's over 6' tall!! So, that's kinda funny. Only, not to him....he isn't laughing. But someday, he may look back and chuckle. He has no reason to complain, however, because he has been loved and doted upon his entire life.

So, there you have just a very few of the abundant blessings in my life.

Randy & I are not perfect parents. Ha! Far from it.

What I have learned (not soon enough) is that our children desperately need us to be there. We sacrifice so that I am able to stay at home, by their sides, loving them along, until it becomes time for them to spread their little wings and fly.

It has been a massive struggle. We could never really "afford" for me to stay home. Indeed, we have been in some major financial pinches and have had to live these years trusting from day to day that God was looking over us and that He will provide.

Matthew 6:31-33

Jesus: "Do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek FIRST his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

The thing is that even though I clearly see God hard at work in my home & family & life...it has never been easy.

I named my blog: "walking on a broken road" because that is what my life has been.

I always end up traveling the broken road. Never the newly paved road. Never the smooth road. Never the highway. Just a little, old, broken up road. That's just the way that it is for this girl.

It would have been (and would still be) a ridiculously miserable journey if I kept my eyes on the road the whole time.

When I focus on how messed up the road is...

I feel like I could die.

It seems that going on is not an option if this is the road that I must to travel upon.

However. When I change my perspective...

when I look into the sky,

and open my eyes to the beauty that surrounds me,

and take the fresh air deeply into my lungs,

thankful for each breath...

When I lift up my heart in worship...

guess what happens??

I forget all about the condition of the road.

I was recently listening to a woman speak about an issue and she said something about taking notice of "the miracles going on in the background" of your life.

I love that!!!

Miracles are mostly found in the background.

Aren't they??

When I take notice of these miracles,

when I remember to appreciate the simplest of blessings,

when I look up instead of down...

fretting about the condition of the road I'm walking on suddenly becomes incredibly silly.

How does all of this tie into what I wrote in my last post?

Well...still keeping it real:

This is what I see in the lives of those

that I know and love:

desperate need for attention & approval

loneliness

sadness

frustration

hopelessness

exhaustion

isolation

no known purpose

and extreme confusion

My guess is, that without realizing it, these sweet ones are on the world's path.

Chasing the illusion.

Thinking that happiness is right around the next corner...

and it never is.

"But everyone is on this path" they say...

"you are looking sort of strange over there" they say...

"It seems to me that success is this-a-way," they say...

And maybe it is.

But maybe

success

is not really

all that it's cracked up to be.

And maybe it's not really where you want to be.

So I ask again,

What about love??

A person can love without putting love first.

Most of us have folks that we love.

Where do these people....

these ones that we love....

land on our "to do" list?

The world says,

"You come first.

You deserve only the best.

Live for yourself.

It's all about you."

This, however, is what Jesus says:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
1 John 3:16 & 18

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us.

And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

When you resolve to put love first, everything changes.

Personally, when I quit looking at the world's model of who I should be, and asked my Creator to show me who I was created to be...I finally started living an authentic life.

And as a special bonus, I found peace.

As I began a divine pursuit of what God had planned for

me personally,

and left behind the status quo,

(over-rated anyway)

I felt truly free for the first time in my entire life.

We have choices but society makes it seem as if we don't.

And sometimes "society" is

a friend, a brother, sister, or even mom or dad.

What about that?

I have encountered much criticism about my decision to homeschool my children. It is hurtful and disheartening.

The fact of the matter is, I was called by God to homeschool my children, which makes the bottom line:

This holy calling is more important than anyone's opinion.

God spoke this into my heart:

"Your children are here now,

before you now,

mothering them is not in the future...

it is in the now"

Part of my "mothering" duties entail homeschooling.

I had to let go of what I thought that I wanted...what I assumed that I should be doing so that I could begin to live the life God had prepared specifically for me.

I had to let go of my need for approval,

respect,

and praise.

Putting love first requires sacrifice.

Always great sacrifice.

And always the broken road.