Thank you, Preston & Abbi, for cracking me up every single day.

November 18, 2009



Ok. It has been a million years since I have blogged. For me to be able to write, I must be inspired. Alas, I have not had many inspirational moments lately. However, tonight, I did have an awesome little laugh.

And I just have to share.

On our last visit to the public library I noticed that they had a sign posted saying:

Chess Club
Wednesday evenings @ 6:30
All ages and skill levels

Well, well. My kids LOVE chess. I brought the sign to Abbi's attention and she agreed that it would be fun for her & Preston to try it out.

(They also have knitting lessons on Thursday evenings. Who knew!)

So, anyway! Today is Wednesday so the plan was for the kids to go to Chess Club at the library at 6:30. Couldn't wait.

When we got to the library I told them to run in and ask what time it the thing ended so I would know when to pick them up.

By the way, I was dropping them off (not staying) because:

a) they were together (buddy system)
b) the library is practically around the corner
c) I needed to go home and be in a house with NO CHILDREN, if only for an hour or so. I NEEDED TO. Oh, how I needed to.

They ran into the library. I waited. And waited. Finally they came out, with somewhat disturbed expressions on their faces. I rolled down the window.

"Well??" I said.

"Ummm. It's all old men in there." they said.

"So??" I said.

"It's kinda weird. There are tons of them." Abbi said. "I don't think I want to stay."

"OH, yes, you do!" I said. "You will be just fine. Now scoot. Just don't go hanging out in the bathroom with anyone. See ya."

"But! Momma..."
...as I drove away.

Am I a horrible human being? I don't care. I seriously needed some time. Seriously.

I no more walk in the door, when...the phone rings. Caller ID says "City of Corpus Christi"

Great.

It's Abbi.

In a hushed, panicky tone..."Come and get us out of here. NOW."

My thinking was...hey, they are at the library, it's full of books & stuff, they can hang out til I finish mopping the kitchen floor...at least.

Approximately ten minutes later, the phone rings again. It's Abbi again. She CANNOT BELIEVE that I haven't left yet AND Preston is ticked off and decided to walk home.

Uh-oh. Not good.

I grab my keys, jump in the car, highly annoyed with the fact that I have children. Grrrrr.

As I near the library, I see Preston hustling down the sidewalk...in the dark, mind you. I drive up beside him, "Just what in the heck are you doing??"

"There you are!! What took you so long??" he pants, looking rather distressed.

"Seriously, Preston? Seriously? It's that big of a deal to just hang out at the library for a few minutes and play chess??"

"You don't understand, Mom! There was a Nazi in there!" he hisses.

"Ya right, Preston. Whatever." How dramatic he is...

"Mom! For real! There was! He had this big, Nazi sign on the front of his shirt...and he was really huge and had a red goatee and a shirt with the arms cut off. And tattoos all down his arms. AND. A bald head. WITH. A tattoo of a skull in the middle of his head!!! He was a Nazi."

By this time we have pulled up in front of the library and Abbi jumps in the car, ranting about the Nazi guy, and all of the "creepy old men" that don't say a word...just sit and stare at each other...oh! and the man with a really skinny, oval face, and also there were lots of bums that must just play chess all of the time. It seems like that is all they ever do, she says.

All righty then.

Wonder what the knitting class is like??